October 2009
45 posts
The Sexless Innkeeper
Barney: ...Back in her cave, she prepared a snack. Beneath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack. But when she returned, she found a sound sleeper...and thus she became the Sexless Innkeeper [back to Ted] and so are you.
Ted: Wait, you're saying that girl just used me so she could have a place to crash?
Barney: Ted, you mentioned that you lived upstairs. She saw that tweed jacket which basically says you're not interested in nor probably even capable of having sex and she thought, hey, free lodging.
Ted: No way, I'm not the Sexless Innkeeper.
Barney: Ted, that girl had no intention of ever hooking up with you.
Robin: Which is funny, because usually, it's the innkeeper that offers turndown services. Oh! [highfives Barney]
Today, my sister and I were watching the fifth...
everythingharrypotter:
(via tiaaaaa)
Greatest Text from Last Night ever. ♥
(124): Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn’t upset me at all
Ya know what would be funny?
I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, “If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky.” Just then the eclipse would start, and they’d probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.
WatchGlee preview. Love the song.
spiffiness03:
thirtyrockefeller:
...
“And when you’re not a little boy anymore, when the world has taught you how to...”
– Boy Meets World (via infinitebutterflies) (via spiffiness03)
One of my favorite songs.
intuitiveaptitude:
...
“And then she said she can’t believe
Genius only comes along in storms of fabled...”
– Panic At The Disco, Northern Downpour (via intuitiveaptitude)
“Some people are meant to come into your life for a lifetime, some for only a...”
– Tyler Perry as Madea
Sheldon ♥
Sheldon: This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds. Now add 140 for me, 120 for you...
Penny: 120?!?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?
“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose...”
– -Sirius Black
(via ishkid)
I love Sirius Black. <3
There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things...
Here is my most for serious question ever.. (ignore my epic bad grammar.) :D
You get in the Delorean, kick it to 88, and BAM! Doc Brown tells you that you’re in the future. What’s one question you’d want answered about your future?
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of...”
– Marilyn Monroe